The Failure of the Treaty of Versailles Essay - 1595 Words

Imagine this: a child starts a fight on the playground in elementary school. After a nasty scuffle he is caught and brought into the principal’s office for punishment. Present in the office is the mother of a child whose arm was broken in the fight. She wants the child punished severely as restitution for hurting her son. Next is one of the children who stepped in to defend the victim. He wants the child punished, but not as harshly as the mother. And, of course, the principal. He stepped in at the end of the fight and broke it up. His only goal at this point is to make sure another fight does not occur. Welcome to the situation at the Paris Peace Conference in 1919 at the close of World War I. Germany had started a major war, and it was†¦show more content†¦Clemenceau was pushing to include severe punishments for Germany in the treaty. He firmly believed that Germany should be crushed so it could not start another war such as the one they just ended. (Lentin 22). George of Britain, under the pressure of his voting public, supported a revenge policy towards Germany, but not one as severe as the policy France was proposing. He also had ideas of using Germany as a buffer to stop the spread of Communism in the region (â€Å"The Treaty of Versailles,† History). Wilson on the other hand had no thoughts of revenge; his goal was simply to try to reach a lasting peace. His plan for this was set out in his Fourteen Points plan to encourage an end to fighting and the spread of democracy. This plan included opening trade, slowly disarming all countries, and putting a stop to secret diplomacy. The points also included the creation of the League of Nations, a coalition that was to include the major nations of the world that would meet with the common goal of avoiding another world war (Gay and Gay). If Wilson had actively stuck to this plan, the future most likely would have been a different story. But all of these differing viewpoints made negoti ations difficult and the he settled for a compromise that may have seemed appropriate at the time but resulted in negative consequences for the world. The United States shortsightedly neglected the responsibility to support a functional treaty unclouded by thoughts of revenge. The countries theShow MoreRelatedThe Failure Of The Treaty Of Versailles1781 Words   |  8 Pages The failure of the Treaty of Versailles in the United States Senate was due to both the opposition of the treaty in liberal and conservative forces, as well as Woodrow Wilson’s stubbornness and incompetence when deciding the final version of the treaty with imperialism, German restrictions, and the League of Nations. As World War I began with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, igniting a conflict between Serbia and Austria-Hungary that snowballed into a war with Great Britain, FranceRead MoreThe Treaty of Versailles: A Complete Failure Essay1266 Words   |  6 PagesDecember of 1918, The Allies of Europe met in Versailles to Sign possibly one of the most changing documents in history. The document they signed nearly turned Europe upside down , broke down and put up many new social barriers, and definitely made history. The Document that the allied forces all gathered to sign was known as the Treaty of Versailles. Initially, the treaty intended to keep peace between the nations, however, forcing Germany to sign the treaty ended up as one of the worst decisions anybodyRead MoreThe Successes and Failures of the Treaty of Versailles in Addressing the Causes of Conflict and Restoring Peace and Normality1117 Words   |  5 PagesThe Successes and Failures of the Treaty of Versailles in Addressing the Causes of Conflict and Restoring Peace and Normality To evaluate the successes and failures of the Treaty of Versailles, we need to address the terms of the Treaty as well as to inspect the consequences. The First World War had exposed Germany as a strong and aggressive power, and was viewed as a threat to peace by the victorious powers, so the terms of the Treaty of Versailles, which was designed toRead MoreThe Treaty of Versailles1684 Words   |  7 PagesInvestigation The Treaty of Versailles was created to bring peace between nations after WWI. This investigation will answer the following question: To what extent did the Treaty of Versailles bring peace? In this investigation, the extent of the Versailles Treaty’s success will be evaluated by examining the period of its development, 1918, to the rise of Hitler, 1933. Several sources were used in this investigation including a number of books that look at the terms of the Treaty of Versailles and the reactionsRead MoreThe War I And World War II Essay1639 Words   |  7 PagesWorld War II are the largest military conflicts in history. In 1919, Europe attempted to reconstruct the damage left by WWI. After WWI, with the Treaty of Versailles, Germany was left destroyed and destabilized, which eventually laid out the foundation for WWII. The harsh terms of the Treaty of Versailles led to the aggression of Germany. The Treaty of Versailles was supposed to bring about peace, but Marshall Foch, g eneralissimo of the Allied Armies in France believed that instead, it was an armisticeRead MoreWorld War I Was One Of The Most Destructive Wars1031 Words   |  5 Pagesthe machine gun and gas warfare, as well as the failure of military leaders to adjust their tactics to the increasingly mechanized nature of warfare. Viewing Germany as the chief instigator of the conflict, the Allied Powers decided to impose particularly harsh terms and conditions upon defeated Germany. The Treaty of Versailles, signed June 28, 1919, did little to shape any sort of long-term peace from the results of World War I. Instead, the treaty, hastily put together, was vague, exposed the Allies’Read MoreWas the Treaty of Versailles a Success? Essay982 Words   |  4 PagesWas the Treaty of Versailles a success? There are several ways in which the Treaty of Versailles was a success but there are also some which show it was a failure. The treaty of Versailles was the peace settlement signed after World War One. The treaty was signed in Versailles Palace near Paris-hence its name-between Germany and its Allies. The three most important politicians were David Lloyd George (Britain), Georges Clemenceau (France) and Woodrow Wilson (USA) also known as ‘The Big Three’Read MoreEssay on The Causes of World War II1106 Words   |  5 PagesFrom the Treaty of Versailles, to the rise of Hitler, and the failure of the League of Nations, there were many causes that lead up to World War II. World War I left Germany with many shortfalls, thus leaving them in the hands of the Treaty of Versailles. Rather unfair of a Treaty, this left Germany once again looking for another way out. A country resented by many had no other choice but to feel optimistic toward Adolph Hitlers empty promises†¦ making it substantially simple for him to gain powerRead MoreThe Failure of the League of Nations and the Outbreak of War in 1939913 Words   |  4 PagesThe Failure of the League of Nations and the Outbreak of War in 1939 There are many causes for the outbreak of the Second World War. These include the failure of the League of Nations, the Treaty of Versailles, Hitlers actions and so on. Some of them are more important then others and are mostly linked with another cause. The failure of the League of Nations was one of the main reasons for the outbreak of war. It exposed weaknesses which encouraged Hitler to invadeRead MoreBritish Foreign Policy During The Period From 19191147 Words   |  5 Pagesdifficult to determine the success to failure ratio, which focused my attention on the debated failure of three major foreign diplomatic events that’s shaped the course of history. The Treaty of Versailles, The Manchurian Crisis of 1931, and Neville Chamberlin’s appeasement were all long-term failures involving British foreign policy. These â€Å"failures† helped and shaped tension as well as the Second World War. The Treaty of Versailles The Treaty of Versailles is regarded as one of the biggest flounders

Conflict Government and Policy Team Free Essays

Case Study3 : The Poisoned Chalice: By Matthew Mcdonald, University of New South Wales Joseph had been a team leader for two years and felt he was ready to take the next step in his public service career. He had begun his career as a graduate trainee in the Department of Agriculture after completing a double degree in commerce and environmental science. After his traineeship he was offered permanency as a policy officer, eventually rising to the post of team leader. We will write a custom essay sample on Conflict: Government and Policy Team or any similar topic only for you Order Now As a team leader Joseph felt he had gained the trust and respect of his four staff member and had learnt the basic skills of being a manager. Joseph applied for various management positions within his own department without success. Undeterred, he applied for a position in another government department responsible for environment and heritage and was successful. The role involved taking over the position of manager of a â€Å"Taskforce† that had been set up five months previously. The taskforce was made up of 10 team members responsible for developing and implementing a set of government policies and programs designed to assist primary producers to manage better the environmental threats to their land. Joseph couldn’t have been happier with his new promotion and he looked forward to applying what he had learned as a team leader to the challenges of his new post. The taskforce itself was divided into two teams. The first team- â€Å"the policy team† was responsible for developing policies in consultation with the minister’s office that would underpin the programs to be eventually rolled put all over the country. This team was made up of highly experienced member. The second team- â€Å"the implementation team† was responsible for implementing the policies developed by the policy team. The job of the implementation team was to deal with the logistic of implementing the programs and working with the numerous stakeholders involved. For Joseph, everything started put well in his new position. He gradually got to know each of the team members, who seemed skilled and competent in each of their roles. He also began to understand better the job that the taskforce was required to do. However, as the days turned into weeks some major problems in the taskforce began to appear. The first major problem was that other sections within the department were unhelpful and difficult to deal with when he made requests of them or sought to initiate collaborations. When he asked his staff why this was the case, the most common response was that the department had â€Å"had it in† for the taskforce as posing a threat to their own positions. The bad blood between the taskforce and the rest of the department made Joseph’s position vary difficult because he and his staff were heavily reliant on other areas of the department for their expertise, advice and assistance in order to manage the project successfully. The second major problem was the taskforce itself, Joseph began to realize that the two teams were highly antagonistic towards each other. This was evident in taskforce meetings, where there was an obvious hostility between them. Joseph also discovered that very little had been achieved since the taskforce was setup, and found that it was now well behind the government’s schedule. However, the full implications of Joseph’s predicament became apparent only after a revealing conversation with Alison, a junior member of the implementation team, while working back late one evening. Alison told Joseph that the previous manager of the taskforce, John, had left the position because of the problems associated with it, everything had started out well; however, then the policy team had begun to treat the implementation team as inferior because the implementation team members were younger in age, were less experienced and had made a major blunder in the first few weeks by getting a national farmers’ union offside. After this blunder the policy team had begun to refer to the implementation team as ‘the idiots’. The policy team had also taken a superior attitude towards members of other sections within the department because of their close relationship with the minister’s office. This problem came to a head after a chain of emails had been leaked to the rest of the department by a member of the implementation team, who had inadvertently received them, in the emails, members of the policy team had made disparaging remarks about people from other section with whom they had been working, this had created a furors in the department. As a result, a number of formal complaints about members of the policy team had been made. Instead of dealing with this and the other problem associated with the taskforce, the previous manager, John, had closeted himself away in his office, hoping they would go away. Realizing that events were starting to get out of control, John’s manager. Max, had stepped in to try and sort out the situation. He had done this by speaking with all of the taskforce members both individually and as a group. This had made a difference for a short time: however, the antagonism between the two teams in the taskforce had eventually returned, and it had seemed the nothing could be done to repair the damage inflicted by the leaking of the emails. It was at this point that John had resigned. Due to the taint that hung over the taskforce, no one in the department had been willing to apply for the now vacant position of taskforce manager. After speaking with Alison, Joseph realized he had been handed a â€Å"poisoned chalice† that nobody else wanted. He became very worried that the taskforce would not meet the departments’ and the government’s objectives and timelines, and the he would be blamed for its failure, adversely affecting his long-term career and future promotion prospects. Discussion Questions 1. Using the â€Å"model of conflict processes†, identify the sources of conflict between the policy team and the implementation team. 2. Were Max’s actions appropriate in this situation? If so, why? If not, what should he have done instead? 3. What actions should Joseph take to ensure that the taskforce meets the government’s objectives and timelines? How to cite Conflict: Government and Policy Team, Papers

Ship Visit free essay sample

The purpose of the tow worthy survey was to ensure that all loose items on the barge are secured to be able to withstand the forces that could be experienced on the sea passage and that both the tug and barge were sea worthy. The surveyor took rounds daily to have a look at the existing conditions and to outline his expectations/requirements. The Fortuna had been in ZPMC shipyard since December 2010, for the fitting of a new stinger, and due to the long duration of stay in dry-dock the scope and volume of work required for the sea securing was quite large. However the crew worked very hard to ensure that vessel passed the tow worthy inspection and the certificate was finally issued on June 19, 0700LT (1) hour prior the scheduled departure time. In addition to having photographs of the sea fastenings taken as below have also included general information about the Fortuna and its pipe laying operations. We will write a custom essay sample on Ship Visit or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page It was also however noted that instead of the new officers who joined being initially trained or taught about the practical operations and handling of the barge, too much emphasis was instead being given to deal with the â€Å"audit† findings of the EXXON, including detailed power point presentations for the same but just a cursory explanation of the actual operation of the barge. 1. Securing on deck. 2. Securing in pipe laying gallery. 3. Securing on deck. 4. Securing on deck. 5. Securing on deck. General Layout: Fortuna is a pipe laying barge built ex ZPMC shipyard in 2010, general dimension as given below. She has an forward accommodation consisting of 4 accommodation decks and a helicopter deck. The pipe laying gallery is on the port side of the vessel and the center and starboard deck are free for pipe and miscellaneous equipment storage. The stinger purpose built for this project is installed on the aft port side of the vessel in line with the pipe laying gallery. The barge has (1) fixed crane on starboard main deck and (1) crawling crane.

The Modern Prometheus free essay sample

A modern day Prometheus is somebody that defies the Gods and does something that only they can do. Victor Frankenstein, from Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, is considered to be a modern day Prometheus at that time. Prometheus, a Titan, was the first person that started this modern day Prometheus. Mary Shelley tried to make Prometheus and Dr. Frankenstein to be very similar of what their actions. Prometheus was the son of Iapetus. His name meant forethought because he ad the power to tell the future so therefore, he was the wisest of all the Titans. Prometheus was also a friend to Zeus because he helped Zeus fight and defeat Cronus even though most of the Titans were with Cronus. Prometheus and his brother Epimetheus were told to create man. Because Prometheus helped make man, he cared for them. He was known as the protector and benifactor of man. The wise Titan would gift man something that the Gods of Mt. We will write a custom essay sample on The Modern Prometheus or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page Olympus tended to keep for themselves only: fire. The Gods were very furious about how Prometheus stole fire from the Gods. He was given a cruel punishment. He was hained to a rock with an eagle tearing at his liver. Zeus tended for Prometheus to be left on the rock for all of eternity or until he agreed to disclose to Zeus which of Zeuss children would try to replace his position. In the end, Hercules ends up rescuing Prometheus and he did not even give in to Zeus. This is how being a Prometheus began. These kinds of people defy the Gods, yet they are always punished for doing that. Prometheus stole fire and gave to man, but as punishment, his liver was being ripped off every day by an eagle. Victor Frankenstein did something that most people thought only Gods can do: create life. He made life, a thing only Gods can do. Victor hoped that when he created his son, he would love the creature dearly. Instead, as punishment for defying the Gods, Victor was filled with hatred and disgust of the monster. Because Victor created life and did something that only Gods can do, Mary Shelley subtitled Frankenstein The Modern Prometheus. Mary Shelleys purpose in the subtitle of her book, Frankenstein was to compare the two people: Prometheus and Victor Frankenstein. She showed many similarities between Victor and the Titan. She had many solid reasoning that Frankenstein is in a lot of ways the modern Prometheus at that time. Dr. Frankenstein and Prometheus both made a problem that neither characters were able to control. This teaches the two people to never mess with the laws of nature. It took punishments and time for both characters to realize what they had done was seriously wrong. People that do something that most people consider only gods to do are known as a Prometheus. Victor from Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus is considered to be a person that defied the gods. The tirst person to ever be a Prometheus was a Titan that had a name of Prometheus. Mary Shelley intended for Victor to be that and she succeeded for what was to be achieved.

What Are Fiction Essay Topics?

What Are Fiction Essay Topics?Have you ever considered writing a fiction essay topic? If so, then you are about to make a significant investment. Each and every person are searching for a way to be more productive at work or school. This will lead to you to learn more about people in your current world.Literature, as we all know, has been around for centuries and spans many countries. Many believe that this type of writing is one of the best ways to learn about the history of your country and the other countries that surround it. You can use your chosen topic to discuss and write about a wide variety of things, ranging from novels, to films, to other forms of media.Even if you do not need to write a novel, you may want to consider a topic that can help you write an essay or research something. If you are interested in art, for example, you can find literature topics that can help you write about it.An essay or report on this subject will need to provide factual truth with the purpose of providing a deeper understanding of an historical figure, movement, or artist. You will also want to be sure that you are not conflating facts with your information or your interpretations of them.There is no question that everyone wants to better understand the human nature and civilization, as well as society and culture. Your fiction essay topic can help you do this. People who are interested in art will want to learn about the specific works, events, or people involved in making the piece.However, there is no set formula for how to write an essay topic. One can try to write out an outline or build a vocabulary list, but these are not foolproof methods.Professionals can guide you through this process, but that isnot to say that you cannot come up with your own ideas and brainstorming techniques. Ultimately, writing and submitting a fiction essay topic should not be difficult or complex, but it does require some thought and creativity.

Smoking in Public

Smoking in Public Free Online Research Papers Should smoking in public areas be allowed? Have you ever gone to a restaurant or to the bowling alley and come home smelling like cigarette smoke? And while you were there, some people are sitting there smoking by you and you can’t stand the smell of it. So you go out side and to get some fresh air and what do you know there’s some more people lighting it up and smoking but they are polite enough to go outside. Doesn’t this annoy you, that you can barely go anywhere without people smoking in your presence. This leads us to the question, Should smoking in public areas be allowed? Smoking in public areas is something that could definitely be dealt without. The things I will cover with you are the effects of smoking, the effects of second hand smoke, and some policies that are against public smoking. First I’ll start with the effects of smoking. To make cigarettes, tobacco leaves are dried and shredded, and then they are rolled into tubes. The smoke from tobacco in these cigarettes contains more than 4,000 gases and chemicals many of them are poisonous. Some of theses substances include ammonia, which is used in cleaning fluids, carbon monoxide, the deadly gas in car exhaust fumes, and tar. When cigarette smoke is inhaled, these substances are injected into the body. A smoker breathes smoke directly through the mouth in the bronchial tubes, which lead to the lungs. Tiny particles stick to the walls of the tubes, causing irritation. Then the smoke passes into the lungs and it leaves behind a brown tar. This tar contains chemicals, which lead to lung cancer. Nine out of ten deaths from lung cancer are caused by smoking. The American Lung Association says cigarette smoking kills 11,000 lung cancer patients a year and 13 percent of these patients survive more than 5 years. Currently in the United States, approximately 26% of adu lts smoke cigarettes. Cigarettes don’t only cause lung cancers but can also cause other problems to the heart and blood vessels. Some other cancers associated with smoking include larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, stomach, and some other organs. Smoking also causes some serious respiratory diseases. Emphysema is a disease that robs a person of their ability to breathe. This disease is terminal and it kills you. It destroys a little bit of your lungs at a time so you don’t even realize there is problem. Patients who have emphysema can survive for many years with the help of oxygen tanks and special breathing exercises. Everyday activities, like shopping, cleaning, or exercising are some things that you can’t do in the later stages of emphysema. Elaine Landau says in her book â€Å"Cigarettes† that one cigarette lessens a smokers life by 7 minutes. Overall smoking is very dangerous a deadly it causes over 300,000 deaths a year in the United States. So if you’re ever offered one just remember how dangerous it is even if it only lessens your life by 7 minutes. However you don’t have to smoke to be harmed by cigarette. This leads us to the effects of secondhand smoke. Inhaling smoke from others is called passive smoking. There two kinds of secondhand smoke, mainstream and sidestream smoke. Sidestream makes up 80 percent of secondhand smoke and mainstream 20 percent. Sidestream is the more dangerous of the two because it has higher concentrations of poisons than mainstream smoke. This smoke is from the lit end of a cigarette that never passes through the filter. It flows into the air between the smoker’s puffs. Mainstream is the smoke exhaled by the smoker. In early 1993, the United States Environmental Protection Agency released a report that showed the respiratory health effects from breathing secondhand smoke. In that report it stated that secondhand smoke causes lung cancer in adult nonsmokers and impairs the respiratory health of children. About 3,000 American nonsmokers die each year from lung cancer caused by secondhand smoke, of these; the estimate is 800 from exposure to secondhand smoke at home and 2,200 from exposure in work or social situations. It is clear that those who work or li ve with smokers have a greater risk of lung cancer than those who are less exposed Every year, an estimated 150,000 to 300,000 children under 18 months of age get pneumonia or bronchitis from breathing secondhand tobacco smoke. 50 to 67% of children under the age of five live in homes with at least one adult smoker. Secondhand smoke is a risk factor for the development of asthma in children and worsens the condition of up to one million asthmatic children. Children exposed to secondhand smoke damage their developing tissues. Children that breathe in secondhand smoke visit the hospital for breathing problems more often than those who are not exposed. According to the National Institutes of Health, children who breathe in secondhand smoke are at risk for a number of other health concerns. They are more likely to experience middle ear problems, coughing and wheezing, and worsened asthma conditions. Overall about 53,000 people in the world die each year because of secondhand smoke. Now you might be asking yourself how you avoid secondhand smoke. Well there a couple thi ngs you can do. The first thing you can is stop smoking if you do and consult your physician if you need help. The second thing is if you have household members who smoke, help them stop. If it is not possible to stop their smoking, ask them, and visitors, to smoke outside of your home. The third thing you can do is Do not allow smoking in your car. And the final thing you can do is to make sure your school or your children’s school is smoke free. In fact many restaurants, work offices, and public areas prohibit smoking in their building areas. If only there were a law that stopped smoking all together millions of lives would be saved and you wouldn’t have to worry about secondhand smoke. This brings us to some policies that are against public smoking. Smoking in the world is being prohibited in more and more places. Many forms of transportation, such as trains, some buses, and airplanes, do not allow travelers to smoke on board. It is also banned at most job sites, public buildings, airports, and many restaurants. The movement to stop smoking is international many of similar steps have been taken in numerous countries. Laws to control or prevent cigarette sales and smoking have been passed by many states and local governments. Over 42 states and 400 cities and towns limit smoking in public places such as city hall, stores, and elevators. Eleven states require restaurants to offer separate seating for non-smokers. Ten states have passed laws to control smoking in the workplace. In response of the objection the Tobacco Institute has tried to fight back. However, Minnesota was the first state to enact a law protection for the non-smoker. In 1975 the Clean Indoor Air Act was passed. This act made it illegal to smoke in all public places, unless an area was set aside specifically for smoking. Smoking is not allowed in city buses, grocery stores, offices, and many other locations. Minnesota’s law is considered a model because it inspired other states to pass similar laws. In 1980 voters in Florida and California went for the same movement Minnesota went through. However the proposal was rejected. So instead they had laws passed that didn’t allow smoking on trains, buses, grocery stores, health care centers, and many other places. California hit smokers by having a law passed to raise the tax on cigarettes. This would cause sales to go down. All these laws were being passed just so more lives would be saved and the air would be cleaner. If a single cigarette is such a killer I don’t know why you would continue to smoke if you know it is tearing away at your lungs. While progress has certainly been made in reducing exposure to smoking and secondhand smoke and much more is needed to be done. Thousands of employees at their work are exposed to harmful levels of secondhand smoke on a daily basis. All Americans need to recognize and protect themselves from the harmful effects of secondhand smoke because no matter where or what you do there will always be smokers in your life. So if you know somebody who smokes encourage him to stop and it might change or even save his or her life. So now you know some more things about Second Hand Smoke, the effects smoking has on your life, and some current policies against Public smoking. And I hope that your opinion on smoking has changed and have realized that it is a killer even if you’re not a smoker. So now when you go to a restaurant with smokers, be sure you sit in the Non-smoking section because that decision can save your life. Bibliography Gano, Lila. Smoking. San Diego, California: Lucent Books, Inc., 1989. Landau, Elaine. Cigarettes. Danbury, Connecticut: Franklin Watts, a Division of Scholastic Inc., 2003. Moe, Barbara. Teen Smoking and Tobacco Use. Berkeley Heights, New Jersey: Enslow Publishers, Inc., 2000. Myers, Steve and Pete Sanders. Smoking. Brookfield, Connecticut: Alladdin Books, Ltd., 1996. Schaler, Jeffrey and Magda. Smoking Who Has the Right? New York: Prometheus Books, 1998. Williams, Mary E. Smoking. San Diego, California: Greenhaven Press, Inc., 2000. Williams, Mary E. Tobacco and Smoking. San Diego, California: Greenhaven Press, Inc., 1998. Research Papers on Smoking in PublicUnreasonable Searches and Seizures19 Century Society: A Deeply Divided EraThe Masque of the Red Death Room meaningsHarry Potter and the Deathly Hallows EssayGenetic EngineeringThe Hockey GameArguments for Physician-Assisted Suicide (PAS)Standardized TestingThe Effects of Illegal ImmigrationThe Spring and Autumn

Getting College Essay Help Important Dos and Don’ts

Getting College Essay Help Important Do's and Don’ts SAT / ACT Prep Online Guides and Tips If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing – of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service? If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you’ve come to the right place! In this article, I’ll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay. I’ll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one. Table of Contents What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get? Editing What's Good Editing? What Should an Editor Do For You? What Kind of Editing Should You Avoid? Proofreading What's Good Proofreading? What Kind of Proofreading Should You Avoid? What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay? Who Can/Should Help You? Advice for Editors Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing? The Bottom Line What's Next? What Kind Of Help With Your Essay Can You Get? Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing. There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of reallypolishing your final product. Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you. Editing Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work. Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing isgood editing. In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved. What’s Good Editing? Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader.For example, in this case, a good editor should make sureyou understand the actual essay promptyou’re supposed to be answering. Open-endedness. Good editing is all aboutasking questions about your ideas and work, butwithout providing answers. It's about lettingyou stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view. Objectivity. It's usually better for an editor tonot be emotionally involved with what you’re writing. For example, if your essay is about a parent, that parent should probably notedit your work.Good editing can also be a preview ofhow a reader will respond to what you’re writing, pointing out potentially confusing or offensive moments in your work. Great editors show you the many available paths, but don't tell you where to go. What Should an Editor Do For You? Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that thetrip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do? Help Brainstorm Topics Sometimes it’s easier to bounce thoughtsoff of someone else.This doesn’t mean that your editorgets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic optionsyou've come up with. This way, you’re less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or towrite about something that isn’t actually important to you. If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check outour guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay. Help Revise Your Drafts Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing isabout asking questions, not giving answers. Revision questions shouldpoint out: Places where more detail or more description would help thereaderconnect with youressay Places where structure and logic don’t flow, losing the reader's attention Places where there aren’t transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader Moments where your narrative or the argumentsyou're making are unclear But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting – editors let authors fix the problems themselves. A good editor's favorite punctuation mark. What Kind of Editing Should You Avoid? Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision. You may be dealing with a bad editor if they: Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn’t come from you Use a thesaurus to makeyour collegeessay sound "more mature" Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn’t come from you Tell you what to say and how to say it Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something elseyou wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions. Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing? Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethicalside of the line. An editor should say that theopening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it. An editor should point out where yourprose isunclearor vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay. An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go. With a good editor, these things will always only come from the author's head. Proofreading Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader. Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only processwhere someone else can actually add to or take away things from youressay. This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters. What’s Good Proofreading? Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must. Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreadersshould correctspelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to anyformatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing). Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make surethat you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that’s your job andnot the proofreader's. Proofreaders are like entomologists, hunting for tiny specks amidst a vast landscape. What Kind of Proofreading Should You Avoid? A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job. Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are: If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished. If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes. If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing. Does your proofreader's desk look like this? Maybe not the right person for the job... What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay? Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading aregood – even required! But they also want to make sure you’re the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see workthat reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important. On the Importance of Editing Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don’t allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others’ edits and opinions when they seem helpful. (Bates College) Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay’s flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. (Dickinson College) On the Value of Proofreading Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well – such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend – and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. (Yale University) Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. (Oberlin College) On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. (Carleton College) Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we’re probably going to notice. (Vanderbilt University) So, basically, a big old thumbs up on the whole "get someone to look at your essay" situation, as far as colleges are concerned. Who Can/Should Help You? Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self. Parents or Close Relatives Your family may be full ofpotentially excellent editors!Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you. A parent or close family memberis a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the followingquestions.Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader?Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won’t create conflict?Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent? One suggestion for defusingface-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parenta draft, have themwrite you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestionsyou want to use and which to discard. Teachers or Tutors A humanities teacher thatyou have a good relationship with isa great choice.I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, areall used to reviewing student work. Moreover,any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure itâ€Å"sounds like you.† If your teacher or tutor has some experience withwhat college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft. Guidance or College Counselor at Your School The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your workis that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay. At the same time, school counselorstend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what worksand which college is focused on what aspect of the application. Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselortends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1college counselor, you’re unlikely to get that person’s undivided attention and focus. It isstill useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version. Friends, Siblings, or Classmates Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you. Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don’t sound like you. You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work. "I loved that part when you wrote Baa-aaa-baaa. But I feel like you should add some more details to that Baaa-baa-aaa section." "Oh, thanks, man. You're the baaa-est." Advice for Editors If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation. First, your editor should read our advice about how towrite a college essay introduction, how to spot and fix a bad college essay, and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked. Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will helpthem to guide you. Introduction Questions Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not? Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea? Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through. Essay Body Questions Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words? How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay? Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing? Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs?Between the narrative and moments of insight? Reader Response Questions Does the writer’s personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of â€Å"who he or she is†? Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well? Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough? Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay? What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement? Editing is just like fixing a guitar. Except, you know, without a screwdriver. And you don't need to know anything about guitars. Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing? One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service, like the many proliferating on the internet. My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service. When to Consider a Paid Editor In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you. If you can't ask your parents. For example, ifyour parents aren’t good writers, or if English isn’t their first language. Or ifyou think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!) If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybeyou don’t have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance,your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won’t know what admissions officers want to see. If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students. If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be thatyour essay is on a very personal topic that you’re unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn’t fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays. If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so.If you have finite resources, I’d say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it’sPrepScholaror someone else) is better way to spend your money. This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more. Should You Hire an Essay Coach? On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they haveexperience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it’s more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you. But, on the minus side,you’ll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn’t know that much about you. In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantageto paying someone to help you. If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can’t afford the coach’s fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale - many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice – essay coachesdon't have any special magic that can back up those promises. Should You Send Your Essay to a Service? On the plus side, essay editingservices provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less. If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results. On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them. If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's.In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay. Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editingthat writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn’t write the essay, or the skill of the essay mightnot be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores. Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else? NO! Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don’t do this! For one thing, you’ll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this: I certify that all information submitted in the admission process- including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials- is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application) For another thing, if your academic record doesn’t match the essay’s quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies. Admission officers have full access to yourwriting portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, butthere are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays – you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn’t also bought by 50 other students. Don't be the guy trying to pass this off as your own original work. The Bottom Line You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting Colleges very much want to see your authentic self (your ideas, your insights, your writing ability, and style) on the page All of them agreethat getting light editing and proofreading isnecessary Look for admissions essay help from: Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings If you can't ask any of those, you can payfor college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches whoover-edit you work Don’t buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it’ll make your whole application sound false. What’s Next? Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then exploreour step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay. Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that’s right for you. Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work throughour roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges. Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test. If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study. Want to improve your SAT score by 240 points or your ACT score by 4 points?We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. 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